Otalia - Facing the Truth, 4/4

Title: Facing the Truth, 4/4

Fandom: Otalia

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: Yep, for recent and upcoming episodes.

A/N: Technically, Part 3 could have been the end, but I think they had more to say to each other so we get this.  Honestly, I had full intentions of writing a full-on smut fest, but it just didn't get there.  Is it just me or is there just not much smut out there with these two? 
Disclaimer:  These wonderful ladies and the other peripherial characters belong to CBS and TPTB at Guiding Light.  I'm not making a dime off this.  Thank God because then I'd be poor.
Summary: Natalia runs away from her feelings, but Olivia can’t deny how she feels. Will she stop Natalia from making a mistake with Frank?

PART 4

 

They held hands all the way back to the farmhouse. Olivia let her drive and she couldn’t help but look down at their entwined fingers during most of the drive, marveling at how perfectly they fit together. Somehow she thought it would feel odd or strange to hold Natalia’s hand, but it was warm and safe and surprisingly erotic when Natalia would caress the back of her hand with her thumb.

 

She took a shuddering breath remembering how Natalia touched her in the hospital, the soft brush of her thumb across her lip. Looking back on it, she must have been somehow temporarily insane to stop it. Who in their right mind would turn this woman away? Yes, she had been insane. Lost in her own fears and insecurities, unable to let go of her old coping mechanisms. Sex had been fun, light-hearted, an act performed to meet an end. It had nothing really to do with love. Until now.

 

She knew what came next, no matter what she told Doris, and that scared her. Not the actual sex part, but the sex with someone she loved so completely before sex was even a thought. She had fallen in love with Natalia without sex. Good God, what would happen to her and them with sex in the equation? 

 

When they finally got home, Natalia dropped her coat off on a chair and started in on cleaning some dirty dishes in the sink. Olivia watched her for a moment and wondered if sex was even going to be an issue. Maybe Natalia didn’t even want to. She ran her fingers through her hair, unsure what to do. She debated about it and eventually went into the living room leaving Natalia to her domestic chores.

 

A few minutes passed and finally water stopped running. Natalia came around the corner and leaned against the doorway.

 

“There you are.” She pointed back to the kitchen. “Sorry…old habits.”

 

Olivia sat on the couch, resting her elbows on her knees, “It’s okay.”

 

Natalia looked at her with concern and stepped closer, “Are you? You seem…bothered.”

 

Natalia sat next to Olivia on the couch, watching her intently, until the older woman cracked, “Do you really want this? Us? Together?”

 

“Of course. I wouldn’t have called off the wedding if I didn’t want this, Olivia. If I didn’t want you.”

 

She looked up at Natalia when those last words hit home, “You want me.”

 

Natalia blushed a little and pushed some hair behind her ear, whispering out her confirmation, “Yeah. I do.”

 

They looked at each other for a long moment, before Natalia turned to face Olivia straight on, “I think I need to tell you something, a truth, so there will be no misunderstandings here. I think we’ve had enough of those.”

“Okay?” Olivia answered uncertainly.

 

Natalia took her hand, “Do you remember the morning we were standing on the porch when I was pouring out the de-icing stuff?”

 

Olivia scrunched up her eyebrows, “Yeah.”

 

“Do you remember me saying something about the sin of what we think being as bad as the act itself?”

 

Olivia felt her stomach fall to the floor, “Yeah.”

 

Natalia looked down at their hands, before closing her eyes and then looking back up at sad green eyes. It was a look she wanted to drive from Olivia’s face – the doubts and fears, she wanted them all gone.

 

“If that’s the case then I’ve committed hundreds of sins with you…maybe thousands.”

 

Olivia looked at her in shock, “You? When did this…when did you…?”

 

“I don’t know and it doesn’t really matter. I just know somewhere between taking Emma to school, cooking you a tuna casserole and folding laundry…I felt it. I prayed a lot and I cooked even more. I never cooked so much in my life, but it cleared my head.”

 

Olivia shook her head, “But you were going to go through with this wedding.”

 

Natalia squeezed her hand, reaching her free hand up to push a stray lock behind Olivia’s ear, “That’s where you’re wrong. When you showed up, I was praying…for a miracle, for a sign from God that this was wrong and had to be stopped. You came through that door. You were my sign, my miracle. You always have been.”

 

Natalia slid her fingers under Olivia’s chin and closed the distance, pinning her to the back of the couch. Olivia moaned into the kiss, feeling the soft caress of Natalia’s tongue against her own. She reached for Natalia’s hips and pulled her over so she was straddling Olivia’s waist. Natalia deepened the kiss and wrapped her fingers in Olivia’s hair, holding her close.

 

Olivia felt herself falling, refusing to listen to the nagging voice of conscience. The urge to take and consume Natalia came at her in primal waves fighting to circumvent her mind, the one that Natalia had opened her to. Her heart and body wanted to let go but her mind wouldn’t let her, not without laying everything on the table.

 

She broke away from Natalia’s mouth. The look of arousal on the younger woman’s face was unmistakable. Olivia knew she didn’t have to say this but she wanted to. She didn’t want there to be any misunderstandings or regrets.

 

“I need you to know something, Natalia.” The other woman bit her lip, struggling to pull her emotions under control.

 

“Okay.”

 

“I want you. I don’t want there to be any doubts about that. But I don’t want you to regret anything either. This isn’t a game to me, Natalia. Sex had always been a game to me, a way to get what I wanted. But I got you and I got everything I could ever dream of without even a kiss. You changed the rules on me, Natalia, and all I can do now, already having everything I ever wanted, is love you…completely and without reservation, and hope that I can give you even just a little of the love you deserve.”

 

Natalia let the words sink in and she absorbed them, held on to their meaning deep in her soul before leaning back and slipping off Olivia’s lap. She held out her hand and led Olivia upstairs.